At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
