i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
