i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
