You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
