Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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