She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize