I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
