Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
