About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
