She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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