Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
