im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have tasted many bathrooms
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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