She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
