Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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