So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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