ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
