i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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