watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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