Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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