just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
