We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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