dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
