Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
