i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
