he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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