You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The best revenge is premature balding
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize