remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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