We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
