I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
