dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize