We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
