stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
