Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You've changed since you got that strap on
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
