Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
