I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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