WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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