let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I need moral support for this bender
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
