Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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