There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
