Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize