Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
