would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
