would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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