32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
