We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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