I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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