Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
