I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
