Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
