i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
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