Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
