Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
