Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I supernannyed him into submission
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
