these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
