no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
