Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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