Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
