i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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