Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
