one might say we're banned from that church
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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