Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize