The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
