Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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