would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
this will be a night to untag.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
