I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
