Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry TBR1999 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(513): View more from Ohio

i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..

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(907): View more from Alaska

frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better

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(310): View more from California

once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there

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(216): View more from Ohio

She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"

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(541): View more from Oregon

mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.

(925): View more from California

"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.

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(720): View more from Colorado

This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.

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(404): View more from Georgia

When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.

(805): View more from California

Thats what I'm talking about

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